Lately, I’ve been really into going back to memories from the past (the ones i remember atleast) to see how far I’ve come and what I feel about them today. If it’s listening to the tunes I listened when I was young, as Something Corporate and Boys II Men are blasting in the van (my band hates me right now for it) or Facebook creeping old lovers and crushes (sorry to all the victims for the random likes on your page when you haven’t spoken to me in 5 years or more..)
Call it boredom, call it loneliness, call it being horny, call it a life crisis (shit.. Is this a life crisis?!?!)
People have always told me since I was in grade school that I have an “old soul” (like I’ve played this game called life before). I’ve always felt like I’ve known the answers and if I didn’t, I would ask this old black man “Lenard” who sits in a rocking chair near the back of my rib cage what I should do. He only spoke back when I stopped these neurotic solutions created by my paranoid brain (I call him Woody). But as I get older, his voice is getting softer, and now I have to figure some of these questions out all by myself. (shit.. this is a quarter life crisis!)
So this what I got from it so far, Life is all about the present. We can try to relight some candles from the past to see if they still burn but don’t be sad or angry if they don’t want to burn as bright as you want them to. Find a new candle that will be just as bright as the one you remembered in your memories. It might look or burn differently but it’ll still keep you warm the same way. As we change through life so do others.. Stop relying on past memories to make you happy (they will always be there so why not create new ones?), let’s not be scared of change and accept that one day our candle won’t be as bright as it use to but still beautiful in its own way.
Let’s accept that we grow old, get wrinkles and one day leave this earth. Everything runs its course and there’s nothing we can do about it. (Unless you enjoy looking like a retired halloween version of Barbie, hips don’t work but boobs still perky as hell).
Change is good friends. Be comfortable and proud of the skin you wear today.