I can’t stand still and for that I’m considered a ghost.
If I stay in a town for a longer then a week or two I start to freak out. It’s one of those questions that keeps creeping up in my head every time I see a familiar street sign, hotel, couch, etc. I always need to be doing something. Living on the road for almost 4 years now, I think I’ve screwed myself for keeping any sort of solid relationship with another human due to this lack of “town longevity”.
This is one of the downsides of being a traveling artist. We are all hopeless romantics & strive to love in our own ways but when it comes down to it, we are just lonely people. We cling to anything that will let us speak (I remember one time talking to a bar stool for hours and to be honest, he was a pretty good listener).
We also, on a daily basis, try to catch up with old friends that we might not have seen since the last time we performed in their city but once we feel like we’ve caught up, we depart on another bus to another town trying to play catch-up at set breaks, sound checks and after parties all over again. This is why I’m considered a ghost.
Here’s my problem: I try very hard to make everybody happy. I spread myself too thin because I never want to let anyone down. I am here to help not hurt, but lately help feels like ropes that are tied to each ankle and wrist pulling me every which direction. I need to learn that I can’t make everyone happy and to spend the little free time I have with the people that inspire and love me, not the ones who are just trying to bring me down.
To be honest, that’s why I left Los Angeles. It felt like a majority of the folk there never encouraged me to follow my heart and instead thought I should wear the same bunny suit everybody else is wearing (besides my family and friends of course. They get pretty sensitive when they think they are the reason I left… So, no Mom, you’ve always been very supportive..). If this was the industry I was sinking into then I should quit before I even start, but I knew in my soul that there has to be something more that I haven’t seen, so I hit the road.
What kind of inspiration is pessimism? Isn’t negativity sabotaging our younger generation’s future over someone else’s insecurities? When someone doesn’t get to follow their dreams and just settles for whatever is given to them, it can make them really bitter about others just trying to follow their own dreams. Can we please leave the bullshit at the door and start giving real genuine love to people?
Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something. If you passionately believe in it, then do it. It’s time to spread optimism in this world not pessimism. So let’s laugh and support each other (even if we’re a thousand miles away) because everything is going to be alright, maybe not today but eventually.
Your Optimistic Ghost Andy
Song of the Day – “I Shall Be Released” by The Band